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Women: why do you remain friends with other women that are essentially 'bullies'?
or bitches if you prefer?

I always dissent but It does seem to be the case that most women accept less than stellar behaviour of their female 'friends' and aquaintences. You have a friend for instance that has an attitude re: everything. You cannot have a mature, thoughtful exchange in a conversation on any topic, she will just exude this negative, toxic, pissed off attitude on those around her. Still, you accept it. Sometimes, she even gets to a point of harrassing people, goading them on, cursing, domineering with 'why', 'explain', 'what do you mean', 'elaborate'. Basically, being pushy and tearing at their interlocutor so that they too have to turn around and descend to her level of '*******' this and '*******' that to not seem 'weak'. Or she can be inclined to roll her eyes at people and display aggressive body language. She is thoughtless of others feelings. Why as a woman do you stay friends with someone like that? And, even giggle on the sidelines when she is being an asshole in her rudeness? Why do you kowtow? Women seem more inclined to kowtow. Men recognise a woman like this for what she is and give her bad attitude right back to her. She is obviously dysfunctional, immature, big egoed *****. I am 21. Is this just the provence of my age group?

I am disgusted by people like that. And, I believe you are judged by the company you keep. Water seeks its own level. I do not know why 'women' generally speaking seem to like this behaviour from other women and hang out with them...Makes no sense. An asshole is an asshole at the end of the day.
No I don`t condone bullying from males or females.
Women, does this ring a bell?
I read this blog at craiglist.org.
It answers the question I hear so many girls asking.

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ******* treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****** yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ******* want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy
I completley 100% agree with you. I am a girl. Buit im not one of those whos looking for Mr. perfect. All men have flaws. Im with a great guy now.. not the most gorgeous of them all but im sure damn grateful that i have him. Some women should really count there blessings. So im happy you posted this. Becuase we dont know how f*** good we have it!

And you keep on being a nice guy. Dont worry. I kno you dont want to hear it, but there really are plenty of other fish out in the sea.
Facing a dilemma and kind of long(mature and open minded people answer only)?
i been married 5 years. My marriage was arranged and its not the fact that it was arranged that i am having problems as u can see in this marriage and divorce forum, problems also arise in people who know each other for five + years before getting married.i brought him here from another country so while i was getting a husband he was getting into US. He was extremely nice back in his country but yes i know he needed to be nice but i kept an open mind that not everybody is the same. some people are genuine. i started having a funny feeling two three months after he got to US(loss of interest, less talking on the phone when he was in another city for job, overall nasty attitude). i could feel that where he was from he never ever seen a girls legs bare but now he can see bikinis, boobs that are all out for u to see . but even though it was ok with me if u look but he was pushing me away and made me feel like i was not pretty enough for him now since he seen so many hot blonde chicks in america. i felt shitty, sad depressed. he would find any little excuse to n0t talk to me for week.I got pregnant, sex life was like this i felt he watched porn and then ****** me without any feelings while pregnant but i never seen him watch it. so for five months of my pregnancy he treated me like crap and looked at me with face like ewe she is my wife.( i am hurt to this day from that). well one day he forgot to delete history and i see all these sexy this and sexy that searches. i asked him so this is the reason u didnt like me all of sudden. i was hurt and wanted to just get out but he cried and begged and said i am sorry i didn;t know what i had. i will never treat u like that again. so i gave birth to my son and tried to forget but couldnt believe he hurt me so much. i mean i guess that wasn't enough for him he became a citizen and well same feeling started coming back. i started school and behind my back he was downloading porn every single day and i was fighting with him about not having sex with me( prolly once a month). i knew he was watching porn because i had spyware but never told him i knew. i was sad that he would rather masturbate and watch blonde chicks get ****** then love me. so this happend for two years and when i told him i knew what he was doing and i am hurt not that he watched porn but i wasnt good enuf for him to have sex. and if he wants to ever watch porn he will tell me we will watch it together at first he said ok but after watching it 3 or 4 times with me he probably doesn't like it and now when i ask him so wat happened he says o I don't want to watch porn. i want to change for us. i know he is bullshitting me cuz he is so used to watching porn by himself he doesn't like me with him. its pisses me off.i mean feeding me bullshit about changing when he couldn't live without fuking naked girls but could live without having sex with me for a month. its sick. i am currently 5 months pregnant after we made a deal and he is pulling same **** again i am extremely hurt and cant get over the fact that he chose other people to watch over me. i must be ugly or something. sometimes i dont want to talk to him and he ******* tries to mentally manipulate me by sleeping on the floor when i tell him leave me alone. so i have to go up to him and ask him to come on bed and be nice. he is playing games or he would not eat dinner since i am not properly talking to him. i am really sick of this. when he compliments me it means nothing to me. when i asked him what kind of women he likes after kinda making him feel i am ok with it he told me i like white girls with big boobs. i know that, i am olive complexion and he wasnt turned on by me. i mean i have guys hitting on me all the time even when pregnant but it doesnt mean nothing when somebody i loved doesnt even find me good enough to have sex with me. i am sad and embarrassed. i know he wants me as a wife so he has a family and that's it. he cant change the fact that i am not his type. but now he is not my type either. i want somebody whose honest who loves my body, me and everything i can bring to the relationship instead of just having a complete family. what do u think i should do or try to do. i put up a face of niceness so he wont sleep on floor or say i dont want to eat dinner. i am sick of being nice to bitches but cant help it. HELP plz.
thanks
Porn is a real addiction. The high a person gets is kind of like a drug.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's the fantasy world he is living that is messing him up.

I'd like to suggest you see if you can find a Celebrate Recovery group in your area. CR deals with all kinds of problems from chemical addictions to porn to overeating and bulimia. You need to go also to find some healing from all the crap he's put you through and to find some support from others who live with someone who has an addiction.
I'm Black - How can I get my little brother to stop listening to rap music?
This is actually a 100% serious question...


I'm the oldest of 3 boys. We're all black, but our parents weren't born in America...

My problem is that I feel like my brother is becoming like the type of people I often criticize. The sheeple of society who grow up incapable of thinking for themselves.. and for some reason it breaks my heart.

ALL my youngest brother listens to is mainstream rap music - not even good rap music. It's like, what the ****? He used to listen to moderate rap music, but now he only listens to the dirty, underground rap music that I feel is so poisounous for a mind...

Artists like Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, Waka Flocka, Curren$y, etc. These kinds of rappers that literally don't rap about anything positive. They just rap about the redundant things that rappers rap about. Money, cars, money, women, money, drugs, money, guns, money violence, money, being "hood", money, and money...
Please, I know this is really long, but I really need someone to take the time to read this, and help me out on the situation...



Recently my youngest brother has been acting like such a ******* douche bag.. and the fact that my dad had to move states for a nice job he landed about a year ago doesn't help too much.. because it's basically like my youngest brother is being raised by a single mother now...

He's rude to everyone in the family. He hates answering any sort of question, All he does is eat food and weight lift. For some ******* reason he ALWAYS wants to go out somewhere with his friends.. it's like stay in the ******* house every once in a while. He acts like MY car is his ******* car.. so when I say I'm using the car, he gets this ******* disgustingly annoying attitude with my as if the car is ******* his...

I just can't stand it anymore. When I was his age, yes I was trouble but I wasn't this ******* annoying. My middle brother was trouble too, but my middle brother is so ******* mature now... he used to be really immature.. but now he's almost as if not more mature than me...

But for some reason I don't know if my youngest brother will ever make that transition...


I really feel like the music he listens to is ******* a huge factor - although not the only one...




SO I'm asking you guys, seriously... how do I get him to broaden his sense of music? I mean I hate sounding like a snobby prick but, my parents were not born in this country... so we have a completely different culture.. we live in a upper middle class neighborhood.. but for some reason my youngest brother thinks that just because he's black.. he's allowed to act like a complete ghetto person.. I don't get it.. his friends are ridiculous.. he doesn't hang out with anyone he can bring into the house because they're the sketchiest people ever.

Please, you guys help me... plus he doesn't even have the courtesty to play his music at a moderate level.. he'll either play it really loud on his computer.. it stresses me out literally.. I feel my heartbeat speeding up when I hear the music because it's so negative...

How do I introduce him to more rap music that will open his mind up.. and allow him to basically start thinking for himself, start philsophizing etc..

Music like Nas, Talib Kweli, The Roots, Common, etc. Rappers who actually rap about stuff. Rappers who know how to dress appropriate, rappers who you can just tell actually have MIND.

I feel like the music my brother listens to now is almost poisonoing his mind.. he listens to it too much... I want to try to introduce my brother to some positive and influential black musicians like Bob/Ziggy Marley and some Jazz music I've recently got into.. only because I KNOW FOR A FACT he won't even consider listening to anything by a white musician...

I feel that as an older brother it's my obligation to at least try to guide my brother on a good path...

Please, you guys I really need your help and your advice... what do I do? Am I expecting too much from someone who is only 16 years old? How can I get my brother to realize that his constant listening to the really negative rap music is most likely the root of all his attitude issues, his rudeness, his selfishness, and his obliviousness to the things around him in life...
Show him Lecrae and trip lee. 40 deep is a good on of crae's songs
I feel like my mother doesn't love me.?
Last Sunday was my 21st Birthday so I wanted to go out at 12:00 on saturday. My mother watched my son so I could go out i dropped him off at 11p.m. and went out that night. She never gave me a time to pick him and anytime shes ever watched him over night I get him right around lunch time. Shes perfectly fine with that. I woke up to her calling my cell phone and slept later then normal. When I answered she said what the **** are you doing?! I said sleeping...Shes like what do you mean sleeping? I said I guess I over slept im sorry. She said to come get your ******* guy. My 7 year old neeces live with her and you can hear them in the background saying yeah because were going to the store. When I got to her house ( I only live two blocks away). Shes like you look like ****. Which really I didn't and shes like you need to get your drinking under control. I drink maybe once a month if that. She told me off and said I ruined her day because normally she goes to my grandmothers house on sundays and claimed it was to late to go now even though she normally goes there around 1:00 & stays till 6. and it was 1:00 when I picked him up. I later found out from my cousin & aunt that she never planned on going there because my cousin just had a baby and she thought my neece might have pink eye and didnt want them around the baby. Really she just screamed at me because my 7 year old neece wanted to to go to the store right then and I wasn't there yet to pick him up. After my mom screamed at me my neece kept screaming and cussing at me to get out of her house and was not corrected. My neece cuses at me all the time and days she hates me and hopes me and my son die.my mom never corrects her for it and i'm not allowed to say anything about it. I really love my neece & try being really nice to her so she knows I love her. Ever since she took in my neeces when I was 14 she acts like im not her guy. She never went to any of of cheerleading games or matches. We use to spend time together shopping,going out to lunch,ect. I understood then and now why we might not do as much together because the girls are time comsuming. But the day of my birthday she never even told me happy birthday only that I ruined her day. I haven't had a birthday cake since I was 16 or 17. I can't remember the last time she told me she loved me or even that she was proud of me. And im a very mature young women I live on my own ..the most I ever ask of her to to watch him once in a while. I've tried talking to her about everything her answer is that im jealous of the girls or I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. But I'm not jealous I love them very much and am fine with my mom being so busy with them. I dont think I feel sorry for myself I'm just not understanding and am trying to figure why I'm upset. She hasnt talked to me since my birthday and i havent talked to her because im upset and don't want to argue about it or have her say something thats going to hurt my feelings more. Am i being dramatic or do moms stop telling you they love you and doing the birthday thing when you get older? Any advise on this or imput. Im just really confused...
tl;dr. Your mother always loves you no matter what.
A mature one?
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that ******* fence wasn't electrified."
Haha that's hilarious...I guess I know what I have to do to get my boyfriend to perform better ;)
Am I Wrong?? (Serious Question) (Mature Answers Only)?
I had a boyfriend with whom I was with for 8 months. We broke up last year in around March but we both attend the same school.he was so sweet to me at the beginning of the relationship. I guess that's why I used to love him so much. I was head over heels for him but he treated me so wrong. A couple of months ago I found out that he cheated on me. But yet we are still friends. I have a current boyfriend whom i love dearly. He is every woman's dream. He treats me the way every woman should be treated. When I am with him I feel like he is the one that i could spend the rest of my life with. But sometimes I think I find myself thinking about my ex ( the one I first told you about) to often. Sometimes I flirt with my ex even though I know I have a boyfriend. I remember when I was in the sixth grade (I'm much older now) how I used to pray for someone to be good to me and I finally found him but I'm ******* things up. I know that in my heart that my boyfriend is who I want to be with, but I feel that I think about my ex a little to often. it's funny to me because I was usually the one always getting hurt, but now I'm hurting someone that loves me so much.

Am I wrong for still thinking about my ex even though I love my boyfriend and he loves me twice as much???

Should I tell my boyfriend about my situation???

Thanks ;]
your wrong for thinking about your ex but i get it. it's hard.
but he HURT you. he cheated on you. forget about him. your letting him walk all over you.
don't tell your boyfriend. not a smart move at all. give it time.
I always seem to land on an illegal porn site somehow im afraid to watch porn in general now?
even though im always searching interacial and mature older woman online those are my fetishes i ALWAYS seem to click on a misleading window of a very mature looking older girl like 25 at least and it will bring me to an illegal site..which i always report to an fbi tips and information hotline im so scared and i hate the ******* perverts who put this out i fear for my freedom and quite frankly am disgusted iver reported over 12 sites to the fbi..do you think theyll come and get me i dont want to go to jail for 10 years im only 18 and am in no way twisted enough to get off to babies..my fiances pregnant with my first guy and im thinking of suicide im so distraught im thinking about getting rid of my laptop its not fair why cant guydie porn be universally blocked from the internet its ****** up
first off you arent doing anything illegal. for some reason in some states its not illegal to view it but it is illegal to have it saved on your computer. secondly vary mature looking women arent 25. when you say that then what you really mean is your into granny porn. and if you are really that paranoid about the internet and porn then just dont look at it on the internet. theres videostores
My mom is upsetting me and i feel like going insane please help?
Okay so im 14 in a half years of age and i have a skin condition its called ezexma i think sorry i cant spell it but anyhow, i have to use this cream and i keep using it but it doesnt get rid of the condition that quickly, so my mother ends up saying "Ohh! you need to put some cream on because your face is looking bad" Yeah right thanks..this isnt the first time she said this i kept telling her it was hurting my feelings and she would say a bunch of crap to me, Now i feel like going completly insane and i feel like hurting her feelings, I have to punch the **** out of walls and wardrobes so i dont use her as a punch bag, she keeps going on about it, like she says all hurtful type of things and im trying my best to keep up with it and heres the annoying thing "Oh you need a shower mah boii" WTF1! women grow up your ******* 41 years old jesus! this is just pissing me off, and i really feel like losing it with her, she started fights with our family when i was 12 and she use to wind up my brother and hes left the house now and more mature (thank god) and i cant wait to move out, and i really feel like rubbing it in her face on how im going to move out and how im going to cut our relationship off, i dont like her anymore all she is doing is messing me about and thinks its funny, i got back at her a few times and she just comes back worse and worse, what am i ment to do? she irritates me and i really have only 1 place to go to and that is my room, When i want to go out i cant she wont let me, she'll make up exuses why i cant, she knows i tried killing myself a few times and when my sister had a crash my mom couldnt give a **** she was cooking dinner and having a laugh at herself not worrying about my sister who was in a LIVE crash! and i was obviously upset, i need help!!
Seems your mother isn't the best person to be raising teenagers.emotions aside you'll need to meet her half way and bear with the situation until you're able to move out and have you own place. there must be resources for teens in crisis in your area, so check with your school counselor which will guide u.
I've been on that road you're on and i can tell u that holding on to negative emotion would hinder your progress into adulthood. so let it go and do ur best in school as your future will depend on it. there will be no point to be full of hate and unstable when u're at a mature age and cannot be a productive adult.
I just have to know one thing?
Why do you think you can deny a woman their god-given rights? Are you going to stand up to my sister, who was raped, and tell her "No, you have to keep the baby because jesus said so." You dont even have proof he is actually a deity other than a book of fairy tales written by a bunch of people who were just trying to teach people the basic lesson in them; Respect&Love

Women I can understand not being for abortion, but men need to back the **** off. Some of them might know what its like to be raped, but most of them dont, and none of them have ever been pregnant [except that guy on the TV but he actually wasnt a man]

Or what about the poor 8th grader who was pressured into having sex? Are you going to make her have the baby, guarenting emotional scars and a long life of therapy?

So heres the question: How ******* DARE you do this to women?


And please, dont hide behind a computer and call me names, therby proving my point that you dont know what your talking about. Just say your honest opinon like a mature person. Thank you.
I say it because I have been there, in a similar circumstance and I saw it through. But I placed the guy for adoption. So I know it can be done. Yes it was really hard at times, and for many reasons. I cannot prove my faith makes sense anymore than you can prove that it doesn't. But I do believe that the baby is the most innocent victim of all. They are an unwanted result of a terrible thing and now someone takes their chance at life away because of something their parent did. Nice. It was actually quite healing for me to help bring something positive out of something bad. It made me realize that I am strong enough to practice what I preach. I appreciate your dilemma and your compassion. I mean that. Just don't run out of it when considering the baby.

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